Google Street view. Find yourself. I found Wally...

New! From the people who brought you "spot yourself in your garden on Google Earth" and "Google yourself" comes find yourself in Street View So here we have Google's Street View which seems fun, sure. But what use does it have past sending web users in a frenzy looking for Wally. Yes. apparantly Google has hidden Wally, off of "Where's Wally" on a street somewhere. I'm looking, I'm looking... I found Wally. Sort of. And now here he is for real... Seems like Google needs to do something like this Wally thing to actually get people using the new system. As a user, I found that I needed to have seen how good the Street View is before I considred using it. Before I figured out how to get it up, I was sure of another gimmick, like the limited traffic data it offers. But actually, once I'd "walked" a few streets I realised how useful the tool would be for map users: the aim of Google maps is to find out where you are going. It might be nice to know what kind of area you are visitng, if it is run down or what type of shops/restaurants is has on it.

I have a problem with the way that you select the tool. Google Maps USA used to have 'Street View' prominent like the 'Traffic' button. Now you have to click and drag a little man. What's the little fella got to do with Street view? pictures are taken from a car's POV. It seems a bit sluggish to me that i cannot just select street view from the top - it shows up the highlighted streets in blue - i click on a spot to zoom in. Why all this dragging Street-View-Steve around? seems like too much hard work.

I don't know about this privacy thing. Seems like people being silly because they were walking along the road, or in thier living rooms with the curtains open, and that's then in public view, isn't it? Won't be long before we all walk the streets with masks on, so nobody can see our faces. Observe here the power of the face blur. Nobody knows his scret blend of 1 million herbs and spices, but I'm sure all know who it is, don't we?? What can google do with our faces anyway? Oh no! Mr Google saw me 1st thing in the morning without any make up on. I'm waiting for The Mirror to come out with "Google Street View ruined my marrage" or something. You know, wife sees husband's naked bottom through curtains of best friend's house? Good Times.

Strange graffiti

I went to see Watchmen on the weekend and i loved it so much. As a massive fan of the source material I was scared of it being rubbish. But after I'd seen the trailer with the Smashing Pumpkins song I knew it was going to be faithful enough to be a great.

Anyway, this is not another Watchmen review. When I went to the toilet (I held it in because I just didn't want to miss anything!) there was some really strange scrawl on the Vue-Reading toilet walls.


what's that all about? Cancer is now cool or something?
Back in my day we used to draw willies on walls, or write "bet you can't wet this graffiti" high above the urinals.
The kids of today are tagging medical conditions, apparently...

Why I'm not going to see Michael Jackson at the O2.

Back in the day when I was at uni my mate regularly made me jealous by recounting the time he went to the MJ HIStory(see what he did there?) tour.

Now, I'm not as big a fan as this fella is, or was, but I want to make it clear before I go Jacko bashing that I consider his music to be some of the best sounds to be created by man since Onomatopoeia was invented.

So I have always said, after being all green-faced; that if the King of Poppers ever did a UK tour Id' be there in the queue with all those nutters who think they can Moonwalk. So I was, of course, was excited when this announcement was made I thought about it and decided not to go- I surprised myself.

The first reason I gave myself was that I've got a very expensive year planned and was already blowing monies on my first ever Glastonbury ticket. After years of wishing my little brother was taking me with him I am going and get excited every time I think about it. (like just then! wooo!)

The real reason, I've realised, is that I think it will spoil it all for me. After growing up with Thriller and Bad on vinyl, Dangerous on cassette and then HIStory on CD, I have the perfect sounds of his songs in my head (or on my walkman!) whenever I need them. If I saw an old, broken and sad looking Michael perform these songs, it might really ruin it for me. You know, shatter the illusion of the all powerful performer hidden within the obviously messed-up human being?

Compare it, perhaps, to asking Ali to step into the ring...

He was the greatest, and no-one can ever take away history. Ali is an extreme(+unfair) example, because of his illness, but I suppose I am scared that Michael will not fulfill the high expectations he has provided me with. But he does not seem the man he used to be, so is he the performer he used to be?

Then again, he could pull it out of the bag like Chris Moyles climbing a mountain and be amazing! He could be like willy wonka and hobble on to stage and then, whammo! Back flips and Moonwalks and fireworks! Oh darn it, maybe I do want to go after all? Anyone got a spare ticket?

Krypton Factor

In a shock change from my usual habit of googling (yes, I am using it as a verb) my own name, I decided to see what would happen if I used the name of some chap off the telly. Ftn on my didgibox is showing The Krypton Factor and there was a Hot Air Balloon pilot, and when I searched his name him, I found out that since being on the show... (wait for it, it's cool!) won an award for doing what ever Hot Air Balloon pilots do, (well done Austin) forced a water-company's van off the road, then he changed his name to "Asia" and is now a woman. Yep. Hormones, dresses and over-sized high heels. Lovely.
By the way, he didn't win the show, as he was complete bilge at the obstacle course.

Thames

Went HERE today, except is wasn't flooded. But boy! Could I see that it had been. It was very stinky. But I doooo love the outdoors, and I think I need to sp0end more time near rivers and trees and things. You know? Well maybe you do. Maybe you're a farmer. It just takes away the worries and all the tripe that comes along with modern worries like money and houses and jobs. Trees don't have jobs (would YOU employ a tree? No, neither would I. Although there IS Peter Crouch. and Keanu Reeves is made of wood, so... Anyway-) Instead of festering I think I'm going to just go outdoors and stop the thinking. Stop looking at walls, and looking at green. Yes. And the Jazz in the bandstand was really nice, too. And the Lemon Sorbet, and our Picnic hamper. Darn it! I need a Panama hat!

Cameron

New Employee Questionnaire

Started a new job this week, and I love getting to know new people, all the 'classic' new job questions and the process adjusting to new 'rules of small talk' between workmates. I liked it so much, I felt inspired!

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New Employee Questionnaire

Welcome to the company. Here’s a personal message from your new boss:

“Glad to have you on board. Your first week can be full of questions that get in the way of you working. To prevent “small talk” getting in the way of REAL WORK please fill out this questionnaire. Copies of your team’s answers can be seen upon request.”

1. Please state (tick) if you enjoy the following to avoid any awkward “foot in mouth” moments.
1. Practical jokes (Both at your expense at others’)
2. Rude Jokes (naughty words or sex related)
3. Politically incorrect jokes. (However, your new workmates would like to respectively confirm that they ARE NOT racists or bigots.)

2. Please list a few items of interest for which inter-desk small talk can be cantered around. For example: Action movies, Kitchen Appliances, Cakes.

3. Likewise, please list a few items for which you have no knowledge or interest as to prevent you seeming rude when inter-desk “chat” is instigated by one of your new colleagues. For example “Mr.T”

4. If your birthday is in the next 4 weeks, please give a few gift ideas. If it is further in the future, be sure to provide us with enough character information to enable anything but M & S vouchers (everyone loves a Marks & Sparks’ Danish, eh?)

>While the following information may seem confidential or “private”, this is merely the kind of information that workmates would previously have found out through months of “small talk” and drunken confessions. (socialising is acceptable outside of work hours, but please be sure to fill in the Morning After Questionnaire(QTR6) to prevent any anecdotal small talk during work hours) Please aid the transition process by disclosing this information now. Or THEY WILL FIND OUT ANYWAY. People just find out these kind of things. It just happens.

5. Please tell us of any allergies or illnesses. Please state your hometown and political, sexual and racial persuasion. Please tell us the name of your car, your middle name, your partner. Please disclose any previous humorous haircuts you may have sported. Please tell everyone your vital stats, any tattoos.

6. please list any DVD’s you would be willing to lend to anyone, likewise please state your position on workmates borrowing your stationary.
   

Jest. No offence to or relation with either my current or any previous employers/colleagues.